I NEED YOU NOW
by kathyde
Summary: Like the song made popular by LADY ANTEBELLUM In the light of day, one can find the strength to face any adversity but in the dead of the night, they reach out for comfort.


**I NEED YOU NOW **

**LADY ANTEBELLUM **

In the light of day, one can find the strength to face any adversity but in the dead of the night, they reach out for comfort.

It was Saturday morning and Gillian had picked up the keys to her new apartment. After she borrowed her brother's van she drove over to her old house. She walked in and stood in the middle of the living room. looking around at the mess that Alec created, every photo album was open and their wedding portrait from the front of the album was missing.

Tears filled her eyes as she relived the conversation that took place between the two of them just two days ago.

_**1:15 am**_

_**Alec came stumbling in the front door and knocked over the lamp that was on the table. **_

_**Gillian jumped from the bed and ran into the living room.**_

"_**Alec are you all right?" she slammed to a stop as she observed the inebriated state he was in.**_

"_**I'm fine, honey...I tripped and broke the lamp..."**_

"_**I can see that," she said sarcastically.**_

"_**I'm sorry, I'll buy another one tomorrow..."**_

_**She frowned as she came closer to him and could see white powder traces around his nose. "You have powder on your nose..."**_

_**Alec's eyes showed his panic as he swiped at his nose. "I...uh...was hungry and had a doughnut in the car on the way home."**_

"_**A doughnut? Really?" she crossed her arms in front of her as she sighed. "Alec, I know you're using again...you have to get help."**_

"_**I'm fine...I've got it under control!"**_

_**She shook her head. "I know you'd like to believe that but its not true, you're sinking fast and I'm not going to stand by and watch you destroy yourself!"**_

"_**I didn't ask you to psycho analyze me! I don't need your help!"**_

"_**You need someone's help and you're right, its obviously not mine! I can't even figure out why I'm still here!"**_

"_**You're just looking for an excuse to leave...you've been different ever since Zoe left Cal!"**_

_**Gillian's face showed her shock as she looked at him. "What?!" That was over four years ago! Besides that, what do Zoe and Cal have to do with this?"**_

"_**Tell me you're not in love with Cal Lightman!" he accused.**_

"_**You're crazy, Alec!" she rolled her eyes as she looked away. **_

"_**Tell me!"**_

"_**I love Cal Lightman...as a friend, nothing more than a friend! For God's sake we were both friends with him and Zoe!"**_

"_**Yeah, until she left...then you and he just kept getting closer and closer everyday."**_

"_**We're in business together!"**_

"_**Is that what they're calling it these days?!"**_

_**Gillian was sick to death of his attempts to take the focus off his problems. "Well, how about the friendship between you and your "sponsor"!"**_

"_**Oh, please! We go to meetings together...We've never done anything more!"**_

_**Gillian broke her cardinal rule and "read" him. She had suspected it all along but with him showing all the classic signs of lying, even she couldn't make up excuses anymore. "It's over, Alec, I'm done. I'm going to check into a hotel then come here in a few days and start to pack my stuff. I'd appreciate it if you were not here on Saturday while I'm here," she said with finality as she walked out the door.**_

"_**Go ahead, go to him, I don't care!" Alec shouted to her stiffened back. **_

Now, as she glanced around the room, she realized that all they had left were memories of the past. She started to pick up things and throw them into boxes. She would pack them up then decide later what to do with them.

Four hours later, her clothes and personal items were packed into the van she borrowed from her brother. She glanced around at the apartment. With all of the personal touches packed away in boxes, it looked empty and cold.

"How did it come to this Alec?" she whispered as a tear slipped down her cheek. She squared off her shoulders and without a backward glance walked out and began her new life.

The week flew by as Gillian made arrangements to move the furniture and the rest of the big items from the old apartment.

Thursday afternoon, she walked into Cal's office.

"Do you have a minute?"

Cal looked away from the monitor and frowned at her serious expression. He frowned, "Course I do, Darling...what's wrong?"

Gillian blinked back tears as she she took a deep breath. "Payroll is done and all of the bills have been paid..."

"Okay..." As she had never announced this before, he wondered why she was telling him this now.

"I'm...um..."

"Stop stalling Foster..." Cal said as he rubbed his hand over his face worriedly and got up to walk around the his desk to stand in front of her.

"I'm taking tomorrow off..."

"Okay, I won't dock your pay..." he grinned weakly.

Gillian smiled at his attempt at humor. "I'm um...I'm...moving over the weekend and I need some time to get my life back together." Cal blinked in surprise then schooled his features as he waited for her to elaborate. She knew he had let her see his surprise and rolled her eyes as she looked away. "I left Alec...I moved a lot of my stuff last weekend and have movers coming to take the rest."

"Foster..." Cal whispered with shock as he took a step closer to her.

Knowing he was trying to comfort her, and knowing she would break down if she let him, she held up her hand to stop him. "I'm fine, Cal! I'll see you Monday."

She turned and started towards the door.

"Gill..." when she hesitated but didn't turn around, he sighed. "Em's with her mum this weekend..."

"I know, have a good weekend," she smiled weakly at him as she walked out.

Cal frowned as he heard her heels clicking quickly on the floor. "Damn..." he muttered before he turned back to his desk. There was nothing he could say to her but she knew he would be alone and would call him if she needed someone.

AND SO IT BEGINS:

_**Saturday night the ringing of Cal's phone pierced the quiet room. He fumbled with it then scowled. "What?!"**_

"_**Cal?" a weak voice warbled.**_

"_**Foster?" he blinked as he glanced at his phone to confirm it was her.**_

"_**Yeah..."**_

_**Cal sat up in his bed as he rubbed his eyes, then looked at the clock. "It's quarter after one, Foster..."**_

"_**I...know...I'm..." her voice broke, "...so sorry, go back to sleep..."**_

_**The phone went dead. Cal jumped from the bed and grabbed for a shirt then slipped it on as he grabbed his keys and phone and headed to his car. He texted her at the end of his driveway.**_

"_**On my way...address?"**_

_**In a second it came over his phone and he punched it in the GPS then was on his way. He was on her front porch within ten minutes.**_

_**He went to knock lightly then realized the door was open. He slowly walked inside. He recognized her purse and coat and knew he was in the right place. "Foster?" he said as he stepped further inside.**_

_**He heard noises coming from behind a closed door and slowly opened it to find Gillian sitting on the bathroom floor leaning against the tub sobbing into her hands.**_

_**Cal frowned as he stepped forward and reached for her hand. "Foster..." he said as he bent down in front of her. "Hey, come here..." Gillian looked up at him and his heart broke for her. He had never seen a face filled with such anguish.**_

"_**Come on, Darling, let me help you up..." he said as he stood and held her hand while she stood. He put his arm around her as he turned towards the door. "Why are you on the bloody bathroom floor?"**_

"_**I got sick..." she hiccuped.**_

_**Cal knew is was from the distress of her ended marriage. "Yeah, I've been there, Luv, I'm all too familiar with that feeling."**_

"_**I know you are..."**_

_**Cal led her to the living room and over to the couch. She sat down as he walked to the kitchen for a glass of water. In a box on the end of the counter, he saw small bottles of alcohol then impulsively grabbed the scotch as well as two glasses along with the water.**_

_**Gillian was sitting and looking at her hands clasped together in her lap when he walked in and sat down next to her.**_

"_**I don't want a drink..." she frowned.**_

_**Cal handed her the water bottle then poured two small glasses of scotch. He left hers on the table in front of them and sipped from his as he leaned back in his seat.**_

_**Gillian was sitting on the edge of her seat and slowly reached for the scotch. She drank the contents in one large gulp then choked at the burn as it warmed her. **_

_**Cal chuckled as he opened the water bottle for her. "That's my girl..."**_

_**She scowled at him before she offered a weak smile. "I'm not anybody's girl anymore. I failed at the one thing that I thought I was good at. I was a good wife, Cal!"**_

"_**The best, Alec didn't realize how good he had it."**_

"_**I kept the house spotless, I made sure there were always meals available so whenever he decided to come home, he'd have something to grab! I talked with his mother and sister at least once a week to keep his family involved with us, I sent his niece and nephew birthday gifts, I shopped for his whole family for Christmas! He did nothing, Cal! Except worry about his career and where he could get his next fix!"**_

"_**I know."**_

"_**He started using again..." **_

"_**I know."**_

_**Gillian knew that Cal had seen Alec often enough to recognize the signs. **_

"_**I could deal with the addiction, you know, counseling, rehab, whatever he needed. But then I...I broke the rules and "read" him...that's when I found out..."**_

_**She stopped as Cal touched her shoulder. "...that he was cheating..."**_

_**She started to cry then broke down completely. Cal pulled on her so she could lean back against him and he held her while she cried. He lightly ran his hand up and down her back until her tears finally subsided.**_

_**Gillian sniffled then took a deep breath. "What if they were sharing needles...how many people has he shared needles with, how many people has SHE been sharing with...now I have to get tested for the next year..."**_

"_**Yeah, Darling, that's probably a good idea."**_

"_**What if..."**_

_**Cal cupped her cheek and turned it up and made her look at him. "Gill...whatever happens I'll be there for you, okay, we can face this together."**_

_**Gillian blinked back fresh tears as she nodded then put her head back down on his chest.**_

_**Cal kissed the top of her forehead before he settled back and waited.**_

_**Safe in his arms, she fell asleep quickly. Cal reached for a book he saw on her end table. "What's the chance its a good mystery..." he scowled as he flipped it open, "...bloody romance..." he whispered as he opened to page one.**_

_**Four hours later, Cal finished the book and went to set it down when Gillian moved against him.**_

"_**Cal?" she asked in confusion as she pushed off of him and sat up.**_

"_**Yeah..." he answered as he looked down at her and watched as her mind cleared and she remembered why he was here and the pain returned to her eyes.**_

"_**I thought...never mind..."**_

"_**I stayed because I thought you might like some breakfast..."**_

_**She frowned as she looked towards the kitchen. "I don't think I have food..."**_

"_**You don't know if you have food?"**_

_**Gillian shrugged. "I literally have no idea."**_

_**Cal got to his feet and moved his arms around as he tried to get the circulation going after sitting in the same spot for so long. "Your bloody guest room sucks..."**_

"_**That's because its a couch not a bed..." Gillian smiled.**_

"_**Let's go see what you've got..." Cal reached for her hand then led her into the kitchen. He opened the fridge to find it fully stocked. He put his arms out like a game show model, "Ta da..."**_

_**Gillian blinked in surprise, "I don't even remember shopping..."**_

_**Cal looked inside. "Well you must have because its all the stuff you eat...fixings for salad, yogurt, fresh fruit, chocolate pudding..." He reached for the eggs, then grabbed green peppers, spinach, mushrooms and onions as well as the cheese and butter. "I'll make omelets if you'll start the coffee."**_

_**Gillian glanced at the clock then pointed at the coffee maker. The timer was set for six o'clock and had started promptly on time. "First thing I set up when I moved in," she giggled.**_

_**Cal nodded at her as he looked at her hair then grinned at her devilishly, "You might want to freshen up while I make these..."**_

_**Gillian frowned as she headed towards the bathroom. She gasped when she saw the tangled mess that used to be her hair. Her face was red and splotchy from crying and her freckles were more pronounced against the paleness of her color. "I can't believe anyone saw me like this..." she grumbled as she put a washcloth against her face and held it there. She glanced up again then sprayed her hair down with a detangler before she started to slowly comb it out. When she finished she grabbed a hair tie and quickly secured it in a pony tail before she headed back out.**_

_**Cal looked over when she walked in, she looked a little more like her old self and he smiled. "Foster, you're falling behind and I'm dying for a cup of coffee here..."**_

_**Gillian quickly grabbed two mugs then poured the coffee mixing his with a little cream and hers with cream and sugar. As she handed him his cup she blushed. "Thanks for not mentioning how bad I looked earlier..."**_

_**Cal made a face, "What...you mean like...hey Foster, you looked like something the cat dragged in?"**_

_**Gillian smiled. "Yes, that's what I meant..."**_

"_**At's what friends are for right? I remember when I got divorced, you came to my house, threw me in the shower then cleaned puke off my carpeting...hungry?"**_

_**Gillian rubbed her hands together excitedly. "It smells fantastic!"**_

_**Cal handed her a plate then grabbed his and followed her to the table. They talked about Emily and all kinds of crazy things that had happened lately. He kept her laughing throughout the meal then they fell into a comfortable silence.**_

_**Cal reached for her plate then carried the rest of the dishes over to the sink. He rinsed them and put them in the dishwasher while she cleaned up the counter.**_

_**Everything was clean again when he turned and folded his arms in front of him and leaned back against the sink. He looked at her expectantly.**_

_**Gillian "read" his thoughts and shrugged. "I'm okay now if want to leave..."**_

_**Cal wavered uncertainly. "I've got nothing pressing and can stay if you want me to..."**_

_**She shook her head as she walked towards her front door. "No, Cal, really, I'm okay, thanks for getting me though last night."**_

"_**Anytime, Darling," he said as he leaned forward and kissed her cheek then grabbed his keys and phone. "Call me if anything changes..."**_

"_**I will...thanks."**_

_**Cal left and Gillian grabbed another cup of coffee then looked around her empty apartment. She reached for the first box then slowly started to unpack and decorate her new home.**_

Weeks changed into months, the divorce had gone through quickly and Gillian was enjoying her life as a single woman. There were times she occasionally let the loneliness get to her but it was her daughter Sophie she missed having around not Alec. He had finally gotten used to the fact that she wasn't coming back. Both he and his sponsor had fallen off the wagon and were currently using pretty heavily but Gillian tuned out the pleas for help from his family. He was going to have to do this one on his own.

She and Cal had steadily grown even closer but both tried to keep their friendship platonic. It was getting harder and harder to do so but each time Gillian felt she was going to take the chance and push it a step further, he would screw up and she'd be furious with him and remember why she was so unwilling to commit.

Still...it never kept them from reaching out to the other in the dead of the night when they needed someone to talk to...

_**1:15 am **_

"_**Foster?" Cal mumbled sleepily into the phone.**_

"_**Alec's girlfriend is pregnant..."**_

_**Cal sighed as he shot to his feet, "I'm on way my way, Darling."**_

_**The streets were empty as usual as he made his way to her apartment. **_

_**He walked up and she flipped the door open the fell into his arms sobbing.**_

"_**It should have been My Baby ! I was supposed to be the one he had children with...ME! We were married for God's sake!"**_

_**Cal's arms automatically came around her as he held her tight. "I know, Luv, I'm so sorry!"**_

_**He held her on the couch as she cried herself to sleep. **_

_**He slipped out the next morning and on Monday they acted as if nothing ever happened.**_

And then it was Cal's turn...

_**1:15 am **_

_**Gillian had driven across town. When she pulled into Cal's driveway, she saw that most of the lights on the lower level were on.**_

_**She reached over and grabbed the new bottle of scotch from off the front seat then walked up and tapped lightly on the door.**_

"_**Who the bloody hell is ringing my goddamn doorbell...Foster?!" Cal said with surprise as he stopped and scowled at her.**_

_**Gillian showed him the bottle as she walked past him and into the kitchen. **_

"_**You came to my house to drink, don't you have your own place?"**_

_**Gillian frowned at his anger and realized he had already been drinking. She ignored him as she reached for his coffee pot instead and started a fresh pot.**_

"_**You ran out of coffee too?" Cal spat angrily.**_

"_**I came because you told me Zoe was getting married..." Gillian explained as she set about making coffee.**_

"_**I'm fine, Foster, go mother someone else!" he spat as he walked into the living room.**_

_**When the coffee was ready, she poured him a cup then followed him into the living room and sat down on the couch and waited. **_

_**Cal was scowling when she set it down in front of him. He stood up and grabbed it angrily then threw it against the wall. The cup shattered into pieces and coffee splattered on his wall.**_

_**"Cal!" Gillian whispered as she stood and grabbed his arm and turned him to face her.**_

_**She could see the anguish in his eyes when he looked at her. **_

_**He gave up and started to cry as he sat down heavily on the couch. "She's MY wife, Foster, mine! For better for worse and all that..."**_

_**Gillian sat down then put her arms around him as she pulled his head to her chest,**_

_**She held him as he cried out his anguish. **_

_**Cal sighed as he pulled away from her. "Thanks..." he mumbled. **_

"_**You're welcome," she whispered as she shoved a stray hair from his face.**_

"_**How'd you know..."**_

_**He stopped and she guessed at what he was about to say. "That is was going to be bad?" she shrugged as she smiled at him. "I could see the pain in your eyes when you told me...I knew it hurt..."**_

"_**I don't even know why, we were never good for one another..."**_

"_**It still hurts just the same."**_

"_**Yeah..."**_

The times started to become more frequent that they found they needed each other, and when Gillian was hurt after an attempted kidnapping, Cal was there for her.

_**11:15 pm**_

_**Cal glanced as a message came over his phone. "Can you come?"**_

"_**On my way," he texted back as he grabbed for his keys.**_

_**Gillian opened the door. with tears in her eyes.**_

"_**Why are you wearing a bloody blanket in August?"**_

"_**I couldn't put on my pajamas! The second I took off that sling my arm started hurting! I bought a button up pajama shirt and I couldn't get it on and I couldn't get the sling back on...and it hurts so bad and I couldn't open the lid on my pills and..." she cried out.**_

_**Cal chuckled as he came into the room. "Its okay, Luv, where's the shirt?" Gillian nodded towards the table and he grabbed the shirt and held it up. "This is bloody big enough for three people!"**_

"_**I know! And I still couldn't get it on!" she cried.**_

_**Cal frowned as he turned her to face away from him. "Take the blanket off and cover yourself." Gillian did as he instructed and Cal sucked in a breath at the picture of her bare back, his gaze automatically going down to glimpse her nicely rounded butt. "All right," he said as he stood by her side with the shirt, "...slip your arm in there." she hissed in pain as he slid the shirt up her sore arm then walked it around so she could slip her other arm in. Once it was on, he turned his back so she could button it closed.**_

"_**Thanks Cal," she said quietly.**_

_**Cal turned back with the sling in his hand. "This next?"**_

"_**Yeah," she nodded.**_

_**Cal carefully slipped it on then secured it into place. "Better?"**_

"_**It still hurts..."**_

_**He walked over and looked at her pills then opened the bottle. "They should have given you one of those easy open caps..." he muttered.**_

_**"I asked for one, they made a mistake!" Gillian spat.**_

_**Cal took two pills out then opened a water bottle for her. Gillian took the pills then washed them down quickly.**_

_**Cal put the cap back on and leaned against the kitchen island. "I thought your Mum would be here with you, maybe your sister...:**_

_**Gillian shrugged, "I didn't tell them, I thought I'd be okay on my own..."**_

_**Cal rolled his eyes then walked and grabbed a pair of her flip flops. "Put them on..." he demanded as he dropped them on the floor in front of her. He grabbed her bottle of medicine and the blanket.**_

"_**What are you doing?" she wondered.**_

"_**Taking you home!"**_

"_**I am home!"**_

"_**Good try, Foster! My home, Em is there and she and I will take care of you this weekend."**_

"_**Cal, its late, I don't want to wake her up and I don't want to impose..."**_

_**Cal gently placed the blanket around her shoulders. "Shut up, Foster..." he complained as he led her to his car. She sat down and he had to secure her seat belt for her and close her door. They were at his place a few minutes later and Gillian followed him inside.**_

_**Emily was in the kitchen eating a piece of cake. **_

"_**Good you're up," Cal said. **_

"_**Hi, Gill!" Emily said as a look of surprise and worry crossed her face.**_

_**Gillian smiled weakly. "Hi Em."**_

_**Cal ignored them as he went to the refrigerator and grabbed the milk then two glasses. He also grabbed two plates and two forks. "Foster here hurt her arm and since she's so damned stubborn she decided not to ask for help so you and I are taking over and she's staying her until Sunday." he announced.**_

"_**I can't stay here for three days!"**_

_**Emily shrugged at the news then started to cut two more pieces of cake for her Dad and Gillian. "Why?! Do you have some other place to go where you can be catered to?"**_

"_**I'm not going to impose on you two to take care of me all weekend!" Gillian continued to protest.**_

"_**Why?" Cal shrugged indifferently as he took a big bite of cake.**_

"_**Yeah, why...because we'd be happy to help," Emily smiled. "Liam is gone all day tomorrow so we can have a Hallmark Movie Marathon day then if Amber is free and I go out...Dad can spend the night with you!" she took a big bite of cake then her eyes grew wide as Gillian blushed and Cal's face showed his shock. "I didn't meant that the way it sounded!" She finished her cake and put her plate in the sink, "I cleaned the spare room last weekend so its all ready ..." she said as she dashed out of the room.**_

_**Cal cleared his throat as started to clean up their dishes. "I've got a spare toothbrush in my bathroom...top drawer on the left..." he said as he ignored her and continued to clean up.**_

_**Gillian sighed as she headed up the steps and into his bathroom. She found the extra toothbrush and used his paste and was brushing her teeth when he walked in. He slid in next to her and grabbed his brush and the paste and started brushing his teeth as well.**_

_**Gillian was embarrassed to spit in his sink but did so then rinsed her mouth and took the hand towel he was offering. **_

"_**Thanks..." she said as she slipped passed him and headed to the spare room. **_

_**She quickly settled into the bed then sighed as she struggled to find a comfortable position that didn't put a strain on her shoulder. **_

_**Cal tapped lightly then let himself in when she answered his knock. She had tears in her eyes when he walked up. He looked at the position of her arm and knew immediately what the problem was. "You'll never get any sleep that way," he said as he grabbed two of the extra pillows from the dresser and walked over to the opposite side of the bed. "Can you roll over a little?" Gillian leaned over as he stuffed a pillow slowly under her shoulder then waited while she rolled back to prop up her arm on top another one. "There you go...feel better?"**_

_**Gillian sighed as she tested it out. "Yes, a lot better, thank you!"**_

"_**No problem, you know where I am if you need anything..."**_

"_**Night, Cal."**_

"_**Night, Darling," he said as he closed the door behind him.**_

_**Emily was walking into the bathroom when she stopped. "Does Gillian need anything?"**_

_**"Just sleep I imagine...night Em, love you."**_

"_**Love you too, Dad."**_

_**A few hours later, Cal woke and headed downstairs to grab the pain pills and a bottle of water. He came up and listened outside of Gillian's bedroom door and could hear signs of her stirring. He tapped lightly then walked inside. "Foster?" he whispered so as not to wake her if she was asleep.**_

"_**Yeah..."**_

"_**Here..."**_

_**Cal walked up and flipped on a small lamp so she could see he brought her medicine. She opened it and took her pills with a large gulp of water. "How did you know?"**_

_**Cal chuckled as he took the water bottle from her and set it on the table next to her. "I've been in your position a time or two." At the questioning look on her face he rolled his eyes as he nodded his head, "Well, I wasn't bloody tackled then dragged through the street by my arm, but I've had similar damage done."**_

"_**I remember, either way, thanks for taking care of me."**_

_**"Yep...go back to sleep..."**_

_**Gillian sighed. "I have to use the bathroom first."**_

_**She got up then came back within a few minutes. "That was fun..." she grumbled.**_

_**Cal chuckled knowingly, "Yeah, you take for granted how hard it is too do everyday things..." she settled back in the bed and he propped her arm up once again. "Can you sleep now?"**_

"_**Yeah," she answered sleepily.**_

_**Cal reached and turned off the light. "See ya in a few hours..." he commented as he left her alone again.**_

_**A few hours later, Cal woke to see he had a text message. He blinked in surprise to see it was from Alec.**_

"_**Heard through the grapevine that my wife was hurt and taken to the hospital."**_

"_**Your EX-wife is fine now."**_

"_**I've checked all over, which hospital?"**_

_**Cal sighed as he knew it was going to create trouble but he also knew how Alec felt and he realized if he received news about Zoe, he'd be frantic too. "She was released, She's at my house with me and Emily."**_

_**The text messages stopped and Cal figured that was the end of it until he heard pounding on his door. He guessed who it was and prepared himself for a fight as he made his way out the back door to walk around to the front of the house.**_

"_**Why are you here?"**_

"_**To see my wife!"**_

_**Cal could tell Alec was higher than a kite as he stepped closer. "Ex-wife, Alec, she divorced your sorry ass."**_

_**Alec looked to the upstairs windows. "Gillian!" he shouted. "Honey?!"**_

_**Cal whirled him around. "Its 6:30 in the morning, you're going to wake my sixteen year old daughter not to mention the one person you claim to care so much about!"**_

"_**I want to see her! Now!"**_

"_**She's sleeping, Alec, she took some pain medication and she's sleeping!"**_

"_**No doubt in your bed! Did you finally take advantage of her?"**_

_**Cal swung out and his fist connected with Alec's cheek. Alec stumbled from the force and fell back against the railing of Cal's porch. "Get the bloody hell off my property before I get really mad! I'll tell Gillian you came by to see her."**_

_**Cal walked away and left Alec rubbing the side of his face. He glanced over at Alec's car and saw his girlfriend slumped over in her seat, oblivious to all of it. "Nice, Alec," he looked back at Alec and nodded towards the car. "You're a bloody class act all the way."**_

_**Emily was in the kitchen looking scared when Cal came back inside.**_

"_**Is everything all right, Dad? Was that Alec?"**_

"_**Yeah, Luv, it was and everything is fine."**_

"_**Why was he shouting?"**_

_**Cal chose not to answer as he kissed her temple. "I'm sorry he woke you, go back to sleep."**_

"_**Was he strung out again?" Cal frowned as he nodded and Emily sighed, "Poor Gillian!"**_

"_**I was going to just go check on her..."**_

"_**Don't bother, I did before I came down, she's sound asleep and couldn't hear any of it."**_

_**Cal looked up then nodded gratefully, "Her room must be far enough away."**_

"_**I think so..."**_

More time passed and one day Cal was held at gunpoint all day by a husband who wanted them to prove to the police that he didn't kill his wife. Several times throughout the day, Cal looked into the barrel of the gun and thought it would be his final moment.

_**It was all over...Gillian reached for him and he stepped away from her, unwilling to allow himself the comfort she offered. He walked out of the office and spent hours in a bar, on a stool staring at the bottom of a glass of scotch. He drove home and walked into an empty house. Emily was with Zoe for the weekend and Cal realized he didn't want to be alone. He thought of the one person he knew wouldn't let him down and he drove to her house. **_

_**On the drive over he slowed the car as he remembered that he and Gillian were actually fighting about the financial predicament he put the company in. He started to get nervous that she might not be as welcoming as he hoped. **_

_**She answered the door and watched as he nervously paced, talking about everything all at the same time. She knew he was feeling the effects of the day and that he didn't want to be alone but she wanted him to be the one to seek out help.**_

_**He started to leave and she could see the change in him as a looked of desperation showed in his eyes. **_

"_**Can I sleep in your spare bedroom tonight if its not too much of a problem?"**_

"_**Of course," she replied as she felt the relief flow through her. He stepped in and she stopped him then pulled him into her arms.**_

_**He held her tightly as he took comfort in her embrace.**_

_**She pulled back with a weak smile and closed the door as she let him walk inside.**_

_**He looked out of place as he continued to pace. Knowing he was nervous, she walked passed him towards the kitchen. She grabbed two glasses then took out a bottle of scotch and showed it to him. **_

_**He made a face before he quickly slipped the mask back on and shrugged. "If you want..."**_

_**Gillian knew he didn't want any so she exchanged the glasses for bigger ones then went into the refrigerator and brought out the milk. She quickly filled the glasses before she brought out a package of his favorite cookies.**_

"_**You don't like these cookies..." he commented wryly.**_

"_**They're okay..."**_

"_**These are my favorite..."**_

"_**Yeah, I know..."**_

"_**Why do you have a package of my favorite cookies in your cabinet?" he asked curiously.**_

_**Gillian wavered under the intensity of his gaze and shrugged. "I'll put them back!"**_

_**She reached for them but Cal grabbed her wrist to stop her. She glanced up and they stared into each other's eyes. They each tried to conceal their emotions but knew the other person was good enough to "read" them.**_

_**Cal's thumb caressed her wrist and Gillian broke eye contact and reached for a cookie. After she dunked it in the milk, she took a big bite. "They're actually not bad."**_

_**Cal took her cue and reached for a pile of cookies as well. "They're not you're bloody chocolate ones and look no gooey mess on your hands."**_

"_**Whatver..." she joked back.**_

_**They moved passed the awkwardness and Gillian had a few more cookies as Cal chomped down a whole row. **_

_**"If you were hungry, you should have said something, I could have made you something more than cookies..."**_

"_**Naw, I'm good...gonna have a stomach ache but I'm good."**_

_**Gillian grabbed his glass and quickly rinsed them in the sink then stashed them in the dishwasher. Cal had closed up the cookies and put them in the cabinet already so she wiped up the table where they ate.**_

"_**Spare toothbrush in the bathroom..." she said as he started to walk into the living room. **_

_**When he came out of the bathroom, she handed him jogging pants and a t-shirt. "Here..."**_

"_**These are mine?!" Cal gasped as he looked down at the items.**_

"_**You borrowed me the shirt when I spilled wine at dinner and the pants you left in my car after you went hiking in the woods looking for that lost little girl."**_

"_**Oh."**_

"_**Go change, you'll be more comfortable."**_

_**Cal came out a few minutes later and looked at the couch. He was surprised that she hadn't left any covers or a pillow so he looked at her nervously. "Fancy me borrowing an extra pillow and a blanket or would you rather I...go home..."**_

_**Gillian licked her lips nervously. "No...I thought I would give you a choice...you can stay on the couch or..." she hesitated and looked towards her room.**_

"_**Or what...the floor?" Cal asked in confusion.**_

"_**I have a king sized bed, Cal...we could share it and not be anywhere near each other all night!"**_

_**Cal swallowed hard. "I...don't know what to say..."**_

_**Gillian blushed as she looked down. "I didn't mean to make this uncomfortable for you...just forget I said anything...let me grab a pillow and blanket..."**_

"_**Foster...I'm not an idiot. If I had to choose between spending the night on the couch or in a bed, I'd pick the bed in a heartbeat but I don't want to screw up and say the wrong thing here..."**_

"_**There's no right or wrong answer Cal!"**_

_**He reached for her hand and squeezed it as he made her look into his eyes. "Tell me which one to pick, Gillian..."**_

_**Gillian sighed as she pulled on his hand and led him to the bedroom. "I need to change..."**_

_**Cal walked over to the bed and wavered uncertainly "Left or right?"**_

"_**It doesn't matter," she called back before she went into the bathroom.**_

_**Gillian walked in wearing a pair of leggings and an oversized shirt. She glanced at the bed and saw he had piled all of the extra pillows as a barrier between them. She laughed aloud, "I'm not going to attack you while you sleep, Cal!"**_

"_**Its not you I'm worried about, Darling," he answered suggestively. **_

_**Gillian shook her head with amusement as she crawled into bed. Cal went to the opposite and carefully slipped under the covers. **_

"_**Goodnight, Cal," she said as she flipped off the light.**_

"_**Night..."**_

_**Twenty minutes later, Cal sighed. "Gill, talk to me..." it remained silent in the room and he rolled over and reached out to touch her back. "I know you're not sleeping..."**_

_**Gillian leaned back then turned over to face him. Tears started falling from her eyes as she reached for his hand. "I could have lost you today..."**_

"_**Yeah..." She sniffled and Cal realized she was crying. "Hey, Luv, you didn't...I'm still here."**_

"_**I know but you almost weren't...I get physically sick when I think about that gun pointed at your head..."**_

_**Her voice broke and Cal wavered uncertainly before he started to toss the pillows between them out into the room. "Come here, Darling..." **_

_**He put his arm out and Gillian snuggled against him, his hand automatically rubbing gently up and down her back. Her tears were finally spent and she sighed as she fell asleep. **_

_**Sometime during the night, she rolled over and Cal spooned up against her and they both slept late into the next morning.**_

_**Cal woke to find that he was as hard as a rock and was currently pressing himself into his partner's backside. Horrified, he rolled over and slipped from the bed and quickly headed into the bathroom. **_

_**He changed into his clothes from yesterday then walked out and grabbed his keys and phone and headed out the door. At the entrance to her complex, he stopped then turned and drove to her favorite bakery. He placed an order then quickly wrote a note on a napkin to be included with the delivery. He tipped the boy to make the delivery in exactly one hour then headed home.**_

_**Gillian woke slowly to find Cal's length pressed against her. She did everything she could not to push herself back against his hardness and turn over in his arms and beg him to make love to her. She controlled her breathing as she pretended to be asleep while he slipped from her bed. She heard him getting dressed in the bathroom and closed her eyes as he came out. She waited to move until she heard him go out her front door.**_

"_**Oh, God!" she said as she rolled over onto her back. She looked at the place where he had lain and felt that the sheets were still warm. She rolled onto her side and placed her hand there then grabbed the pillow and brought it to her chest. It smelled like him and she groaned. "Great, I'll be horny all day now!"**_

_**She climbed out of bed and headed into the shower. After she dressed, she was walking into her kitchen when the doorbell rang. **_

_**"Cal?" she asked as she opened it. She frowned when she saw a young man standing on the porch.**_

_**"Delivery for you ma'am."**_

_**Gillian was confused. "I haven't ordered anything, I think you may have the wrong apartment."**_

"_**Are you Gillian Foster?"**_

"_**Yes...but..."**_

"_**Here you are then..." he said as he handed it over.**_

"_**Wait, where is this from?"**_

"_**Carson's Family Bakery."**_

_**Gillian was surprised. "And you deliver?"**_

_**The young man smiled. "When some guy walks in and orders a chocolate muffin then hands you $20 bucks to deliver it, hell yeah!"**_

_**Gillian smiled as she started to laugh. "Thanks, have a good day!"**_

"_**You too," the boy said as he headed back to his car.**_

_**Gillian walked over and opened the container to see a huge dark chocolate muffin covered with frosting and sprinkles.**_

_**She grabbed a cup of coffee and a fork then sat down to eat. She grabbed for a napkin then saw the note.**_

_**She opened it to see Cal's familiar scribble.**_

"_**Thanks, Darling...happy toothache"**_

_**She chuckled aloud as she dug into the dessert and thought about their relationship and where it was headed.**_

Monday rolled around and they became involved in a case and continued on with business as usual.

Once again weeks rolled by and turned into months. They continued to grow closer yet there were times when their partnership and even their friendship took several hard blows and they would retreat back to their corners and lick their wounds.

_**1:15 am**_

_**Cal and Loker completed a long case and drove back late one night. Cal walked in and found Torres passed out on a couch in Gillian's office. **_

_**Loker followed him and and laughed aloud when he saw Torres. "Uh, oh...someone tied one on!"**_

"_**Yeah, with my bloody scotch!" Cal grumbled as he held up the empty bottle. **_

_**Loker frowned. "Torres wouldn't have gone into your office and taken that!"**_

_**Cal chuckled derisively, "No, that little culprit is still here somewhere, get her home will you?" he asked as he nodded towards Torres.**_

"_**Yeah," Loker said as he bent down to wake her up.**_

_**Cal continued walking through the offices until he found Gillian standing on the balcony. She was drunk as she explained to him what she had accomplished that day.**_

_**She told him she had bailed him out of a lot of trouble and demanded he thank her for it.**_

_**Cal knew what she did literally saved his ass and he grew serious as he looked at her and honestly thanked her. **_

_**She leaned back and looked at him slyly. "I can't wait until tomorrow..."**_

"_**Why? What's tomorrow?"**_

_**She leaned in and looked at him knowingly. "Cause I get better looking everyday..."**_

_**He realized how much she had actually done when she quoted his own joke back to him. He had said it at high stakes poker game and the only way she could have heard it is if it had been recorded by someone and played back to her..**_

_**He stepped forward and took her into his arms again and held her tightly. "I owe you pretty big don't I?"**_

_**Gillian leaned back and looked at him devilishly. "I know of a way you could pay off your debt..."**_

"_**Oh yeah," he asked amusingly as he tried to read her expression.**_

"_**Kiss me?!"**_

_**Cal's heart leapt in his chest as he swallowed hard. "Foster..."**_

"_**You said it yourself! You owe me!" she demanded.**_

_**Cal shook his head. If only she had any idea of how much he loved her, she wouldn't be asking this of him. "I..."**_

_**Gillian rolled her eyes as she tried to hide her disappointment, "Forget it, Cal..." she sighed as she walked past him.**_

_**Cal grabbed her arm and spun her around then crushed her to his chest. His hand went up into her hair to hold her head steady as he lowered his lips to hers and kissed her. His tongue begged for entrance and he deepened the kiss. She moaned and put her arms around his neck and held on as he kissed her with months worth of pent up passion. She was breathing heavily when his hand slipped from her waist and headed up inside her shirt. His hand covered her breast and she whimpered. He ground his length into her lower abdomen and she pushed herself against him.**_

_**"God Cal, are we really doing this?!"**_

_**She slurred her words and it was as if he was doused with a bucket of ice cold water.**_

_**He stepped back panting heavily. "Bloody hell, get ready, Foster, I'll take you home..."**_

_**She frowned at the anger in her voice and grabbed her shoes and headed out after him. She sat quietly in his car and waited until he pulled up into her driveway.**_

"_**Thanks for the ride..." she whispered.**_

"_**Yeah, no problem," Cal said, a hard edge still in his voice.**_

"_**Did I do something wrong?" she asked, her voice quivering with unshed tears.**_

_**Cal looked at her and sighed and reached for her hand. "No...Luv...you didn't, you did everything right."**_

"_**Then..."**_

"_**Gillian, I don't want to ruin what we have and I certainly don't want to do this on a night when one of us had been drinking..."**_

_**She smiled weakly. "Goodnight..." she said as she flew from the car and ran into her house.**_

Over the course of the next few weeks, the times that they turned to each other were beginning to come closer and closer.

_**1:15 AM**_

"_**Hello," Gillian answered her phone sleepily.**_

"_**Can you come over right now?"**_

"_**Emily?"**_

"_**Yeah, Dad's sick, like violently sick, he's been throwing up for over an hour and he won't leave the bathroom!"**_

"_**Emily, call 911..."**_

"_**I can't, he said I couldn't...he said you'd know why...Gill, I'm scared."**_

"_**I'm on my way, Em!"**_

_**Gillian grabbed a coat, slipped on her shoes and was out the door and pulling into Cal's driveway in less than ten minutes.**_

_**Emily whipped open the door as she walked up. "Gillian, what did he do? What did he take?"**_

_**Gillian grabbed Emily's hands and held them tightly. "Your friend's Aunt was drugging her brother. She kept making him some of his favorite brownies and didn't realize the Aunt had switched the flour with something else. Your Dad ate one of those brownies. I think he doesn't want to go to the hospital because they'll do a drug test..."**_

"_**And he doesn't want The Lightman Group to suffer from his mistake..."**_

_**Gillian nodded and kissed Emily's forehead. "I'll take care of it."**_

"_**Thanks, Gill, what can I do?" Emily asked as she followed her.**_

"_**I don't know..."**_

_**Gillian tapped on the door of the bathroom then walked in. "Cal?"**_

"_**Go away..." Cal grumbled.**_

_**Gillian frowned then looked back at Emily. "Take my phone and call Torres, tell her what's happened and ask her to go check on Loker!"**_

_**Emily's eyes were round as she took the phone and left to call. Gillian turned back then got on the floor by Cal and tried to see his face.**_

_**She rolled him over and gasped at the paleness of his complexion. He also had dark circles under his eyes and his face was covered with sweat. "Cal, you need to go to the hospital."**_

"_**Can't..."**_

"_**Cal, you have to..."**_

"_**No!" he said as he looked at her with clear eyes. "...I'll do it here..." he mumbled as he laid his head back down on the cold tile floor.**_

"_**What's he going to do here?" Emily asked quietly from the doorway.**_

_**Gillian stood up and walked out of the room. "Detox," she said uncertainly.**_

_**Emily followed her out into the middle of Cal's bedroom and nodded. "Okay...what does that mean we have to do?"**_

_**Gillian threw her arms out to the side. "I have no idea, keep him as comfortable as we can...keep him hydrated if we can, keep him warm..."**_

"_**Put up with his crappy attitude..." Emily sighed. "Gill, I don't get it, Ria said Eli was all right, he was tired but had eaten then gone to bed. He ate those brownies way after the time my Dad ate his and he's fine now..."**_

_**Gillian shrugged again, "Age, maybe, different metabolism..."**_

"_**Ate more of his..." Cal gasped as he writhed in the floor. **_

_**Gillian heard him and frowned. "Why?! Why would you do something so reckless?!"**_

"_**I wanted to visit with my Mum again..."**_

_**Emily and Gillian both made a strange face and Emily's eyes grew round. "He's lost it, maybe we should just take him in..."**_

_**Gillian felt sympathy flood through her and she knew he would be miserable in psyche ward of a hospital. "No, he'll be okay, I promise. Make sure we have water, ginger ale or some kind of clear pop, maybe a sport drink of some kind, soup..."**_

_**Emily nodded and ran to see what they had and what she would need to pick up at the store. **_

_**Gillian bent over and touched Cal's forehead to see if he had a fever. She swiped the hair from his eyes and tried to see if they were open. **_

"_**Do you think you can get up?"**_

"_**Why?"**_

"_**I think you'd sleep better in your bed..."**_

_**Cal slowly got to his hands and knees and she helped steady him as he got to his feet.**_

"_**Woah..." **_

_**He swayed and she immediately put her hands to his chest and held him in place as he leaned back against the sink. "I've got you, Cal."**_

"_**Don't want to fall..."**_

"_**I won't let you fall, I promise..."**_

_**Cal slipped his arm around her shoulders, "Help me to the bed..."**_

"_**Sure," she said as she tightened her grip. "Your shirt is soaking wet..."**_

"_**Smelly..."**_

"_**No, you're not but you certainly can't be very comfortable like this. Sit down here," she instructed.**_

_**Cal sat on the toilet seat and slipped off his shoes. **_

"_**Do you want me to grab a wash cloth and clean you up a little bit?"**_

"_**If you're giving me a sponge bath, I'm taking off my pants too..." he chuckled then groaned as he swayed on the seat.**_

_**Gillian shook her head as she laughed. "Serves you right..." she said quickly washed his chest and arms then scrubbed his back. When she came back from getting him a t-shirt, he was shivering.**_

"_**Can't lift my arms..."**_

_**Gillian took the shirt from him helped him slip it on, "You're freezing!"**_

_**His teeth were chattering as helped him across the room then had him lay down on the bed. She quickly covered him up then added an extra blanket. **_

"_**Don't leave me, Gill?!" he pleaded as he reached for her hand.**_

"_**I won't," she said as she held his hand between hers. She climbed onto the bed and sat back against the headboard. She rubbed vigorously down his back to try to warm him up eventually slowing her hand to a slow caress..**_

_**As his body warmed up, Cal closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep. Gillian tried to slip from the bed but Cal somehow knew and reached for her. **_

_**She finally gave up and grabbed an extra blanket from the end of the bed then settled down on the far side. **_

_**Sometime during the night, Cal mumbled as he thrashed around on the bed."Leave her alone! Da' no...Mum..." **_

"_**Cal, its okay, Cal...shhh..." Gillian put her hand on his back.**_

_**Cat settled and fell back asleep, it happened a few more times over the course of the night and each time, Gillian was able to settle him down and he'd go back to sleep. **_

_**She woke in the early morning and headed downstairs. She started a pot of coffee then found paper to write a note.**_

"_**Hey, Gill..." Emily said as she flew down the steps.**_

"_**Hi, Em...why are you up so early on a Saturday?"**_

"_**Liam and I are helping do a roadside cleanup for the athletic department. How's Dad?"**_

_**"I think he's going to be fine, he'll probably sleep most of the day away. I was just writing him a note when you came down."**_

"_**If you're going to leave maybe I should stay..." Emily faltered.**_

"_**I'm fine..." Cal said from the steps.**_

"_**Dad?" Emily said as she stepped forward to stand at the bottom of the steps.**_

_**Cal smiled weakly as he made his way down the steps. He put his arm around Emily as he kissed her temple. "Foster's right, I'll probably go back to sleep all day. I'm really sorry you had to see me like that..."**_

"_**I know...I'm sorry that it came to that but you helped my friend and her Dad and that was a really good thing."**_

"_**Love you, Em..."**_

"_**I love you too, Dad!"**_

_**Emily kissed his cheek then grabbed a water and some fruit from the bowl and headed out the door.**_

_**Gillian had poured Cal a cup of coffee and slid it across the counter towards him.**_

_**Cal looked at her gratefully and took a sip. **_

"_**Can I get you something to eat?" she asked.**_

_**Cal shook his head. "No, I'm good." he turned the paper she was writing on around so he could read it. "You're going home?"**_

"_**I was going to go into the office for an hour or so catch up on some paperwork."**_

_**Cal sighed, "I don't think I could find the strength to help..."**_

_**Gillian patted his shoulder then kissed his cheek, "Feel better..."**_

_**She turned to leave and Cal reached for her hand and turned her back around. **_

_**He took a tentative step forward then looked at her. "Gillian, I can't thank you enough for being here for me last night."**_

"_**I'm glad I was able to help, it seemed like you had a rough time..."**_

"_**What makes you say that? What did I say?" Cal worried.**_

"_**I think you were just coming to terms with some old repressed memories..."**_

_**Cal shrugged as he looked away, "Either way, I don't know if I would have gotten through it without you."**_

"_**You're such a strong person, I don't think there is anything you couldn't do if you put your mind to it but I'll always be there for you if you need a helping hand."**_

"_**I love you, Gill..." he said as he cupped her cheek and let her "read" the truth in his eyes before he backed up and looked down at the floor nervous;y.**_

_**Gillian smiled coyly as she stepped back into his space and put her hand on his chest. "That's great, cause I love you too..." she leaned forward and kissed him. She ended it quickly and patted his chest then walked to the door, "I'll see you later, call me if you need anything..."**_

_**Cal sat for the longest time getting his breathing back under control before he convinced himself she meant she loved him as a friend.**_

A few weeks passed and things were quiet until Cal got a frantic call from Gillian. He quickly drove to the address she had given him.

_**As he walked down the long hall, his heart leapt in his chest when he saw her step out of a doorway, covered in blood and crying. He ran to her side and quickly realized she wasn't hurt. He took his coat off and slipped it around her shoulders then took her in his arms and held her while she tried to recover from the shock. He looked into the room where her young friend laid on the floor, covered in blood.**_

_**The ambulance drivers were taking care of her and the police were already there and starting the investigation. Cal called Wolowski and she came quickly and took over the investigation.**_

_**Gillian remained a rock over the next few days aiding in the investigation any way that she could. Cal remained close, knowing she was eventually going to break.**_

_**A few days later, Cal walked up behind her at the graveside funeral and placed his hand on her lower back. She knew immediately that it was his touch and leaned back into his chest and drew from his strength.**_

_**The preacher finished his prayers and Claire's parents invited everyone to a nearby restaurant for a luncheon. Gillian accepted and Cal drove her in her car. He remained strangely quiet but she was grateful that he was by her side.**_

_**They drove back to the office together and went into their separate offices. **_

_**For the next hour or so, Gillian tried to concentrate but finally gave up and walked to Cal's office.**_

"_**Hey..." Cal looked up at her expectantly and she shrugged. "I'm going to head home..."**_

"_**At's a good idea, Darling..." he said as he got up and came around his desk.**_

_**Gillian smiled weakly at him. "Thanks for being there for me today."**_

"_**Anytime, Foster..." **_

_**"See you Monday..."**_

"_**Yeah..."**_

"_**Have a good weekend..."**_

"_**Em's gone so it will be pretty quiet..."**_

_**Gillian squeezed his hand, "Well, stay out of trouble."**_

_**Cal frowned as she walked away. He knew she still hadn't faced all the things that happened this week and he wondered when the breakdown was going to come.**_

_**Eight hours later, he found out.**_

_**Cal rolled over in his bed when he heard a strange noise in his house. He slipped from the bed and grabbed the nearest thing he could find, a heavy vase from the hallway table.**_

"_**Cal?" a garbled voice called up to him.**_

_**Stunned, he set the vase down then ran down the steps. "Foster?"**_

_**Gillian had tears streaming down her cheeks when he met her at the bottom of the steps. "I knocked..." she mumbled as she turned back and pointed at the door, "It was dark and the bushes were blowing around and...then I got kind of scared waiting for you so I used the key you gave me..."**_

_**Cal grimaced at the way she was acting as he reached for her hand. "Yeah, well, its 1:15 in the morning, Luv, not a lot of people up and about out there..."**_

"_**Just me..." she said as she started to cry. "I...tried to sleep and I did for a little while then..."**_

_**Cal sighed and took her coat off then hung it over the banister before he put his arm around her and walked her towards the living room. "Come sit down, Darling..." **_

"_**No...I can't I..." she ranted as she began to pace around the room.**_

"_**Foster, look its just me...all right, you can relax..."**_

"_**No! I don't want to relax!" Cal's face showed his surprise at her outburst. "I need to tell you something, I need to tell you why I couldn't sleep and what I'm feeling and thinking..."**_

"_**Okay..."**_

"_**I want to make some changes in my life...No, that's not right, I NEED to make some changes in my life!"**_

"_**Okay..." he replied worriedly and waited for her to continue.**_

"_**Its about us and our...partnership..." she explained.**_

"_**Oh...okay." he said sadly as he lowered his head, his heart sinking at the news.**_

"_**I don't want it to continue as it has been, I need something more..."**_

_**Cal frowned and grew frantic, "More? More...what? Money? I can certainly start putting in more hours, Luv, I'll take on any case you want me to...how much do you need? I can look into taking out a mortgage on this place and..."**_

"_**Cal!" Gillian shouted and threw up her arms in frustration. "No! That's not what I meant! I need something more...from you!"**_

_**Totally confused, Cal scrubbed at his face with his hand. "Anything, Darling, tell me what you want..."**_

"_**I want you..." she interrupted.**_

"_**...and I can try to do whatever..." he stopped when he realized what she said. "Wait...What?"**_

"_**I said I want you!"**_

_**Cal's face showed his shock before he looked away, "Foster, you've just buried a really good friend and..."**_

"_**Claire has nothing to do with this...well...her death might in that it made me think about how short life really is and how it seems silly not trying to be as happy as you can be and..." She had tears in her eyes as she looked at him. "You're my best friend in the whole world and I'm so afraid of screwing this up but somewhere along the line I fell in love with you and as absolutely frustrating as you can be sometimes, you're the only person I ever want to be with...like all of the time. And maybe I just blew this whole thing by telling you but I had this dream that you were hurt and that I had never gotten a chance to tell you how I really feel about you and now that I'm standing here and rattling it off I realize how insane..."**_

"_**Foster..." Cal stepped forward and cupped her cheeks in both of his hands. His thumb swiped at the tears as he looked at her. "Its okay, Luv..."**_

_**"It's not okay...I don't want to lose what we have but I don't know how much longer I can ignore my feelings and I shouldn't be dumping this on you but..." she gasped when Cal leaned in and kissed her gently. **_

"_**Cal?" she asked when he pulled back slightly.**_

"_**Gill, I love you too...I have for so long...and I've been avoiding my feelings for all the same reasons." **_

"_**So what do we do now?"**_

_**Cal stepped forward again and slowly kissed her. The kiss grew in intensity and he tried to pull back. She threw her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. He groaned aloud at how good it felt to be finally kissing her like this. **_

_**Gillian pushed against him and felt the proof of his arousal. She sighed as she held onto him tighter and ground against him.**_

"_**No!" Cal said suddenly as he pulled back. **_

"_**You don't want to?" she asked in confusion.**_

_**Cal chuckled as he looked at her intensely, "You're bloody kidding me right?"**_

"_**Then why, Cal? I...I need to...feel something again..." she whispered.**_

_**Cal reached for her hand and caressed it with his thumb. "That's exactly why, Luv. When we finally get together I don't want it to be about anything but us..."**_

"_**Can I...can I at least stay here tonight? I don't want to be alone..."**_

"_**Course you can, Darling..." he said as he pulled on her hand. "Come on..."**_

_**He led her upstairs and into his bedroom. He walked over and got her a t-shirt then handed it to her and nodded towards the bathroom. Gillian nodded then quickly came back in, shyly pulling at the shirt that barely covered her red lace underwear. **_

_**Cal groaned as he rolled his eyes and walked over to the bed. "You're killing me...let's go to bed, Foster."**_

"_**You changed your mind?"**_

"_**To sleep..."**_

_**Cal was worried that she would toss and turn all night but after he spooned up against her, she snuggled down into the covers then was asleep within minutes.**_

_**He couldn't believe how lucky he was that things had turned out this way and he vowed to do everything he could to be the kind of man she needed him to be. He fell asleep and the next morning, he woke to find his hand cupped around Gillian's breast and her backside rubbing against his arousal.**_

_**He started to move away when she grabbed his hip to stop him.**_

"_**Please, Cal?!"**_

"_**Gill..."**_

"_**Please?!"**_

_**Cal groaned as he rolled her on her back and started to kiss her. Within minutes, she was naked underneath him and pulling at his pants. **_

_**Cal gasped, once he slipped his pants off, she slid down the bed and caressed her mouth down his length.**_

"_**Bloody hell!" he gasped as he tried not to lose it. **_

_**Gillian smiled as she worked her magic and within seconds he jerked and covered the back of her throat as he came.**_

"_**Fuck!" Cal said with shock that he'd lost control as he looked at her guiltily. **_

_**Gillian wiped her mouth and giggled. "Maybe in a little bit?!"**_

_**Cal took deep breaths trying to control his breathing as he climbed up on top of her and made his way down her body. When his mouth closed over her mound, Gillian moaned as his tongue lapped at her.**_

_**As quickly as Cal finished, she followed him in record time. Her body was still quivering as he slid up her side and kissed her.**_

"_**Foster...what the hell was that?"**_

_**Gillian shrugged as she offered him a shy smile. "Well, we both have that out of our way, so now when you're finally inside of me, you can stay there for a long time!"**_

_**Cal blinked in surprise at her logic then slowly grinned. "At's a bloody fantastic idea!" he said as he started to kiss her again.**_


End file.
